Pangolin' about

Anyone who knows me is pretty much sick to death of me talking about pangolins. Similarly, so are the strangers that I frequently stop in the street and engage in enthusiastic, one-sided conversations about the animals. So, by now, are most of the people reading this paragraph.

But that won't stop me, oh no! The obsession began a couple of weeks back when I was absent-mindedly thumbing through a tatty David Attenborough book. Midway through I was confronted with a picture that looked a bit like this:

Naturally, I was like, "WOAH WHAT THE FUCK YEAH," and, being a long time supporter of nature (seriously, love your work, can't wait to see what you come up with next), I spent the next few weeks googling the crazy little buggers. Here is the fruit of my research:

1. Pangolins have the longest tongue for their body size of any animal in the world.
2. Pangolins have special muscles in their scales which allow them to clamp shut, trapping ants and termites in their keratin shell - so don't be tempted to put your willy in there no matter how tantalising it looks.
   
3. Pangolins are the best adapted animals in the natural world for giving cunnilingus. The only downside to Pangolin head is that you have to fill your vagina with ants beforehand.
4. Pangolins are brill.

Here is my tribute to these marvelous critters:































Click it to see the whole thing (I'm a bit technologically mongified, and I've yet to figure out how to stop this ruddy blog from cutting off the edge of my pictures).

I spent the best part of a week doing this and I feel faintly foolish about the whole thing, but what's done is done. Hope you like.