Anyone who knows me is pretty much sick to death of me talking about pangolins. Similarly, so are the strangers that I frequently stop in the street and engage in enthusiastic, one-sided conversations about the animals. So, by now, are most of the people reading this paragraph.
But that won't stop me, oh no! The obsession began a couple of weeks back when I was absent-mindedly thumbing through a tatty David Attenborough book. Midway through I was confronted with a picture that looked a bit like this:
Naturally, I was like, "WOAH WHAT THE FUCK YEAH," and, being a long time supporter of nature (seriously, love your work, can't wait to see what you come up with next), I spent the next few weeks googling the crazy little buggers. Here is the fruit of my research:
- Pangolins have the longest tongue for their body size of any animal in the world.
- Pangolins have special muscles in their scales which allow them to clamp shut, trapping ants and termites in their keratin shell - so don't be tempted to put your willy in there no matter how tantalising it looks.
- Pangolins are the best adapted animals in the natural world for giving cunnilingus. The only downside to Pangolin head is that you have to fill your vagina with ants beforehand.
- Pangolins are brill.
Click it to see the whole thing (I'm a bit technologically mongified, and I've yet to figure out how to stop this ruddy blog from cutting off the edge of my pictures).
I spent the best part of a week doing this and I feel faintly foolish about the whole thing, but what's done is done. Hope you like.
