A break of absence

For months now, avid readers of my blog have been getting increasingly frustrated as their bleary-eyed, continued tapping of 'refresh' has yielded only the dessicated fruit of my once engorged pangolin obsession.

Well, sorry for being so inactive these past weeks. To tell the truth, I've been enjoying the last gasp of our fugacious British summer - went to a festival; sucked up the sunlight in pub gardens; languished in my dead-end job. I'm not gonna make excuses for not drawing anything or updating wfhit, because, well I don't want to.

But there's a light at the end of this barren tunnel of artistic stasis - CHECK IT:



This was drawn for my dear friend Alice's 21st birthday (that's the lady herself astride this tower of beastly bitchingness). The date in question is this Wednesday, but I don't think she reads this blog so I don't have much to worry about - although if you do read this Al - sorry for ruining the surprise.

Anyway, here's a little of the detail inside:



All because the lady loves zombies. She really does. She's chuffing obsessed.

I'll try my best to get my drawing shoes on and get back on that rickety, incontinent webcomics horse pretty soon. Got two weeks holiday from work coming up, so I'm sure I can make a little time for some doodlage.

Pangolin' about

Anyone who knows me is pretty much sick to death of me talking about pangolins. Similarly, so are the strangers that I frequently stop in the street and engage in enthusiastic, one-sided conversations about the animals. So, by now, are most of the people reading this paragraph.

But that won't stop me, oh no! The obsession began a couple of weeks back when I was absent-mindedly thumbing through a tatty David Attenborough book. Midway through I was confronted with a picture that looked a bit like this:

Naturally, I was like, "WOAH WHAT THE FUCK YEAH," and, being a long time supporter of nature (seriously, love your work, can't wait to see what you come up with next), I spent the next few weeks googling the crazy little buggers. Here is the fruit of my research:

1. Pangolins have the longest tongue for their body size of any animal in the world.
2. Pangolins have special muscles in their scales which allow them to clamp shut, trapping ants and termites in their keratin shell - so don't be tempted to put your willy in there no matter how tantalising it looks.
   
3. Pangolins are the best adapted animals in the natural world for giving cunnilingus. The only downside to Pangolin head is that you have to fill your vagina with ants beforehand.
4. Pangolins are brill.

Here is my tribute to these marvelous critters:































Click it to see the whole thing (I'm a bit technologically mongified, and I've yet to figure out how to stop this ruddy blog from cutting off the edge of my pictures).

I spent the best part of a week doing this and I feel faintly foolish about the whole thing, but what's done is done. Hope you like.

Evening all!

Aside from being ultra-pleased with the tagline for this (hah! beef flute!), I'm not all that chuffed with this one. I've put it on here because maybe one day people will look back upon this blog from their urine powered hovercars and be able to chart the rise to promience of the greatest acrylic-weilding artist cum jetpack bounty-hunter of the early noughties - GUILLERMO DEL ELLIOTTA.

Or not, I dunno. Anyway, i spent ages and ages sorting out the jeans, then got sick of looking at it and painted the rest in the space of about half an hour. You can really tell.

I think that may well be my biggest problem as an art-dude. If you look at any comic on WFHIT you can see the quality of the drawing fade slowly into a childlike scrawl as it nears the end. If I spend too much time on a picture I gradually get tired of drawing the damn thing and begin to lust for pastures new.

I'll do my best to reign in my wandering attention span, I assure you. Or whatever. Fuck it. I'm sick of writing this bloody post now. Go to hell all of you.

True stories of testicular drama

Nash devised a comic based upon true events that actually happened to my scrotum! In my heady youth, I was the proud recipient of a viral infection known as epididymo-orchiditis.

Basically, in my second year of uni, I caught a nasty cold. My body, possibly as a form of revenge for me incessantly goading it with alcohol and improper sleeping patterns, decided to transmit my infection to my epididymus (the tubular structure where sperm congeals before it gets forced out via a urethral railgun onto my laptop monitor). And so began a torturous week of sitting standing up. Still to this day, I feel little twinges in my nuts whenever I'm a little under the weather or if danger is approaching.

So people, don't take your balls for granted - they could turn on you at any moment.

Anyway, people, I'm working on my acrylics still and should have something to show for it next week sometime.

Protagonists

So I will probably end up sticking that last one up on the site. Thinking about it, it fits the definition of what I consider a 'doodle' perfectly.

It's stuff like THIS that I'll keep confined to the blog.



Click for embiggenment!

I think this one came out okay, all things considered. I mean, it's been lingering in my sketchpad for so long that it's managed to accumulate some suspicious looking smears and blotches (like anything that enters my life), and man, I really gotta do some work on backgrounds, but hey, I like it!

So hey...

...I'm twenty one, I'm living alone and I'm full of haughty pretensions which I've deluded myself are interesting enough to share with the rest of the world: It's high time I got the old blog back up and running!

It's been a while since I've used acrylics so I thought I would fire up that long dormant engine and churn something out. I'm toying with the idea of giving this one away, so anyone who wants a free scribble, let me know and I'll snatch myself a big envelope from work and wing it right out to yah!



I'm always thinking of rubbesque little captions like this throughout my daily life, drawing up doodles based around them, then thinking that they're not really suitable for WFHIT and just letting them stagnate in the darkest recesses of my sketchbook. But then I think, hey - what, if not for pushing your unwanted thoughts, opinions and creative endeavours on an apathetic pop-culture saturated public, are blogs for?

So yeah, if you fancy a crappy little A4 doodle, let me know. If not, I won't be too cut up about it.

I guess.